Books I loved reading.

Friday, 26 June 2015

I've finally done it and I'm depressed - ish

After a lot of work, more often than not at times when I should have been doing the actual job which pays my bills, I've finished the final novels which (that?) comprise my three trilogies.

    I finished the final Three Hoodies novel over a year ago, so my claim is not entirely truthful, but Progeny of Kongomato and Old Geezers 3 (no subtitle yet) are finally done. Ten years of work finished. Here are the covers I originally designed but almost certainly will not use.

    I plan (hope) to publish all three at the same time later this year.

    Which leaves me a bit of a problem. Tablets are terrific for writing but absolutely rubbish for editing. Does that mean I'll actually have to do the work for which I'm paid, and do my editing when I get home each night? Because if that's the case prepare to see all three approximately Jan 2020.

Sunday, 21 June 2015

Finally found something to do with my blog entries.

As my blog entries are (technically) copyrighted I've decided to put all those concerning my rabid and dysfunctional family, and my rabid and dysfunctional job into a book. I'm also going to include all those I was afraid to put on the WWW in the first place since she can always find anything supposedly hidden. She won't know about the book since getting my daughter or wife to read anything I write is impossible.

    I've been saving them for years so I should have nearly two hundred pages by the time I've finished.

    Whether anyone will be interested in reading them is another matter but just writing them all down was fun.

Sunday, 14 June 2015

My entire family hates me.

Being ultra efficient on Friday evening I checked my motorbike for punctures, as I always do before going to bed.

    This isn't a peculiar form of OCD on my part, but as I have to be up so early it's hardly worthwhile going to bed, I have to make sure I can get to work since I leave over an hour before even the Underground begins. And having sold my second motorbike a year ago I must be able to get there or risk losing the contract. Taking my wife's car would result in severe blunt force trauma to the head and body. Experience talking here.

    Thus, bike checked, garage closed I retired to bed happy that I'd be able to go to work, if a little unhappy that I'd have to make do with about two hours kip. Now to the hating part.

    Half way through the night I received a text telling me that I wouldn't be required. Great in that I wouldn't have to get up, but bad that I'd miss a day's pay as I'm self employed. None of day off at full pay nonsense for me.

    "Where's the cat?"

    My daughter is always strident, and never more so than when she thinks I've mistreated her feline thugs, both of whom would have died years ago if left up to her for feeding them. I shook my head, resisting the urge to threaten her with death if she didn't let me go back to sleep that instant.

    "Found the cat," she announced happily several hours later when I finally emerged from blissful sleep, "and it's left a little present on your motorbike as it had to sleep in the garage all night."

    It must have crept in after me searching for something to eviscerate as I checked the tyres. Inside the garage are at least four motorbike covers, six coats and an old rug yet my daughter's feline accolyte had to do it right on top of my bike. Just wait until it comes to me for food the next time my daughter is far too busy being cool and trying on yet more new shoes!!



Saturday, 13 June 2015

First and nearly the last.

I'd like to say I allowed her, but as my daughter is twenty years old I can't really stop her from doing anything. So this week she went on holiday without us for the first time but with a friend, to Spain.

     As my passport expired last year and I haven't found the time to renew it I was hoping everything would go fine. In fact I took out so much holiday insurance that had a satellite with decaying orbit fallen on her head, she would have been covered.

    So you can imagine my fright when less than 36hrs after leaving she phoned to say she was on her way to hospital with breathing problems and copious vomiting. We used to have temporary passports in the UK but they don't exist any more. Nevertheless I was calculating ways of getting out of England (no problem technically) and into Spain without a passport and bringing her back, when four hours later she was out of hospital with the doctors words ringing in her ears. Don't, I mean Do not drink any more tap water - and lay off the booze.

     This last five days is going to be murder until she gets back. The other potential problem is of the monetary kind. Before she left I told her about a thousand times to turn off the data switch on her iPhone, because if she comes back with a £1000 phone bill then no amount of insurance is going to cover that and I'll nail her to her bed for the next ten years.

Thursday, 4 June 2015

Doctor who?

If Doctor Who can travel through time and space, and find a parking space in Earls Court just to have a sandwich at Pret, then maybe I'll give it a go as well.