Did you know that in the medieval days, (in England at any rate) pepper was so scarce that it was more valuable than money, and in fact substituted for money? The only reason that I bore you with this ephemera is that I'm broke, but I do have lots of pepper in the house. So presumably, if I steal all the pepper from every house in England, I'll be rich since I have four tubs of black gold in my kitchen.
Two and a bit weeks on and I still haven't got my new motorbike. How long does it take to order an ECU? I could have crawled to Japan and back by now with it in my pocket. But I have three days off so I'm going to the motorbike shop tomorrow and demand a test drive of all their bikes just to annoy them into pulling their collective fingers out. Although I suspect they're pretty annoyed anyway since some people broke into the shop on Thursday and stole a motorbike. It was a supercharged Kawasaki with about a billion horse power and one of only about twenty in the known universe. £28,000 just for a bike!!!! My first house only cost £24,500- although that was a while ago admittedly.
Alright, I done whining and getting back to my novel. Only about fifty pages to go, and I'm trying to make the ending clever, and funny, and brutal. I might be able to do all of those things usually but I've never tried to do all three together.